my essay isn’t done but i sure am
On returning from a shit night out with friends:
"Uuuggghh what a fucking shitty night… I’m gonna go curl up and slit my wrists with a good book."
"Yeah sorry… I gotta come up with less melodramatic analogies for my sorry existence."
"I’ve run out of bread… I’m just going to eat a hunk of cheese wrapped in ham. That’s the same right?"
“Mmhmm, and probably less calories.”